like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
two words...techno handjob
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
