Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
