Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
