theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize