I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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