it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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