How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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