I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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