U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
