i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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