I just made out with a guy for $7.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
