How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
