Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
