there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
