dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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