I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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