I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
