Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
