i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
