I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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