Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
