guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
ttyl tear gas
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
