How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
