I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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