I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
