I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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