It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
