found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
