you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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