The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
