it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
