no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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