Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
