so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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