haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
