my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
