you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
