I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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