i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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