make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
