I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
