Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
