Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
