where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
