you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
