why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
