i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
