is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
