So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
