Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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