I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
