Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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