I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
