so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize