Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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