By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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