I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
