At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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