He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
