super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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