what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
pop tarts are not kleenex
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
