Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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