i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
