Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
