literally had 100 drinks last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
