New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
