Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
