plz talk dirty to me
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
