I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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