I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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